Evanescent Existence
by Mayoyo
Summary: What was the reason behind Muraki’s insane actions? Does he hide a past as similar and hurtful to Tsuzuki’s? This one-shot takes place at the end of the fourth episode in The Kyoto Chapter. It won't be a waste of time I promise **spoilers** **one-shot


**Title:  **Evanescent Existence

**Author: **babygxpress****

**Rating: **PG, angst****

**Summary: **What was the reason behind Muraki's insane actions? Does he hide a past as similar and hurtful to Tsuzuki's? This one-shot takes place at the end of the fourth episode in The Kyoto Chapter. **spoilers** **one-shot**

**Notes:** This is one of my takes of why Muraki is what he is. One thing I feel is evident, perhaps, is that deep down, he's suffering from what he's become. Regret…? I dare not say. On with it!

~*~*~*~

_I wanted so much to be human._

_Without these eyes, without this life, would I know how it is like?_

_To be free.___

Tsuzuki's eyes dimmed as he stared into the dark silent space he knew so well before. There was no one else, no one else who could understand him, feel what he was going through, feel the same as he did. Wetness dampened his blank, dull pupils.

_I want to know; what is the true meaning of existence?_

Muraki  looked up at the suspended head of Saki, his smile deepening. 

"Soon. Just wait a little longer, my brother. You'll get your body back again. And that time will be your true death!" _And then… I will vanish, disappear. I won't be troubled anymore._ His hand curled into a tight fist as he glared up at Saki for a moment before turning to where Tsuzuki lay, on the table.

He picked up a long surgical knife and leaned over Tsuzuki. The knife was about to begin its descend down when it stopped in mid-air. 

"You're crying, Tsuzuki-san?" A pale, luminescent finger rose almost hesitantly on Tsuzuki's cheek before it wiped off the small pool of a tear. "Don't worry, soon you won't even have dreams anymore. Isn't that what you've always wanted?" _I wonder, if you felt the same as me. _

_The child of a loser, who found out he had a brother the same age as he._

_But I tried to get along with him. _He_ was the devil in disguise._

_Grandfather knew. But instead, he rubbed his hands and laughed and said, "You'll have the honor of testing my theory, Kazutaka. After all, you were modeled after a patient of mine. "_

"I only knew who was that when I found Grandfather's journal, Tsuzuki-san." The knife still hung, the tip touching Tsuzuki's skin. "And after 16 years, I found him.  Because of you, Tsuzuki-san." Muraki's eyes narrowed. "Because of you, we went through this."

_Mother always said, dolls were one's best friend. They listen to you, they don't care what you've done before… and best of all. They never betray you. When you lose grasp of reality, they are the ones who will stand by you. The only ones._

"Do you know what happened next after you selfishly killed yourself, Tsuzuki-san? Grandfather transplanted your 'perfect' gene into me. I was supposed to be like you, an eternal being. At first it was well." Muraki trailed a finger down Tsuzuki's cheek. "My skin was white and translucent, my hair silver white. Just like an angel, he said. Until…"

_Until the first experiment._

_Rivulets of crimson blood slowly forming a pool of red._

_The wound that never healed, that never regenerated._

_I was a failed experiment._

_But he didn't want to believe it. The pain, Tsuzuki-san, did you know the agony of being cut open, of having wires weaved into your body, of knowing that from the very beginning, you were living a life that wasn't yours?_

_I was my Grandfather's puppet. A doll._

_And Saki knew. He played along, as one would play to a fairytale. _

_Before he took away those that I ever cared about._

_And I never got the chance to kill him myself. _

_Unsatisfied.__ I was unsatisfied._

_The dark nights I spent, the spiraling days._

_They were of no meaning until I found the secret lab._

_And your picture.__ You, with your one eye._

_And the other, floating in a jar just beside it.___

_I programmed myself since that day. To find the ultimate power, and conquer the limitations of failed science, to continue what Grandfather did. And to gain my revenge._

_The ruby-colored blood of others that flowed through the wires in my body replaced my own that easily drained through any cut I got._

_And you say you want to be human, Tsuzuki-san? _

The knife sketched out a line of red unto coral brown. After just a moment, the wound faded, as though it'd never been there.

And an emotion so strong it burst through the clouded recesses of Tsuzuki's mind pulled him from the brink of the black abyss he was falling into.

But that emotion wasn't his.

_Even if I regret, even if I say no, there's no turning back now. But always, someone will be there to save you, before you can save yourself._

~*~*~*~

"Muraki… he's still alive." Hisoka said, looking at his arm where red writing remained visible.

"Should've known… he wouldn't die so easily." Tsuzuki laughed.

_Is it true… everything that you've told me?_

_Everything that you've felt…._

_I feel it too._

**_~ Born in the time of chaos, _**

**_We will follow its path,_**

**_For we are the descendants of darkness._****__**

****

**_And maybe… along the way_**

**_As we follow the winds of destiny_**

**_We will find the true meaning of our existence_**

****

**_When that time comes_**

**_Will you be there to save me_**

**_From me?_**_ ~_****


End file.
